You staked the XMR — the buyer went quiet — Request refund, not panic chat
You accepted a BUY (you are the Seller who stakes). The Multisig Trade Wallet address showed. You sent the XMR. The chip moved to Staked, then Payment pending — and the clock kept chewing while the other side stayed quiet. Forum folklore says “open a dispute chat” or “DM support with your seed.” On Domestic Monero the public path is colder and clearer: stages, timeouts, Cancelled, then Request refund with your trade share.
At a glance
| Field | Value |
|---|---|
| Topic | Mid-funnel: seller staked; buyer ghost / payment timeout → reclaim |
| Product | Domestic Monero — peer stages; 2-of-3 multisig framing |
| P2P assets (DM) | XMR ↔ BTC, LTC, ETH, SOL, USDT (ERC-20 on Ethereum mainnet) |
| Official entry | @domestic_monero_bot |
| Support | /support on that bot only — Trade #ref + trade state |
| What this is not | Haveno arbitrator how-to; Instant deposit recovery; “tap once from any state” myth |
Two buttons people confuse
| Button | When it exists | What it is for |
|---|---|---|
| Cancel Trade | Created only — before stake lands | Either side can cancel early |
| Request refund | Seller + chip Cancelled + stake still in the trade wallet | Reclaim staked XMR (minus platform fee per on-screen copy) |
After Staked, Cancel Trade is not the reclaim path. Waiting for payment is the stage. If the trade later cancels (payment-proof timeout, user cancel rules, etc.), the seller reclaim is Request refund — not a second Cancel Trade.
Public stage names: Created → Staked → Payment pending → Verifying → Sending → Done / Cancelled. Do not invent an in-app arbitration courtroom. Disputes are primarily between counterparties; stalled trades go to FAQ/Terms language plus /support with Trade #ref.
What to do in the next ten minutes
- Do not paste the trade share, seed, or Multisig address into a cold “support” DM
- Open Trades in the official Mini App — confirm chip + Trade #ref
- If still Payment pending, wait the on-screen deadline; do not double-stake “to speed it up”
- When the chip is Cancelled and you are the seller with remaining stake, tap Request refund and enter your trade share
- If the UI and state disagree,
/supportwith Trade #ref only — Verify official channels
Near-miss pattern when someone DMs first: Telegram “support” almost got the trade share.
Concrete number to watch: payment-asset confirms on Domestic Monero’s public copy are six — buyers who send late or on the wrong network do not get a chat bailout; sellers who already staked wait the stage machine, then reclaim on Cancelled.
Buyer-side note (if you are the one who went quiet)
If you are the Buyer and you already sent payment: submit the TX hash in-app and wait confirmations — do not open a second trade “to fix” the first. If you never intended to pay, do not ghost past the deadline hoping the seller “just cancels in chat.” There is no user-to-user chat on Domestic Monero.
Buyer first-trade sequence (when you are paying): Accepting your first BUY offer.
Instant folklore vs peer stages
| Folklore | Peer Mini App reality |
|---|---|
| “DM the escrow admin” | No chat escrow admin; stages + multisig framing |
| “Open dispute like Haveno” | No public arbitrator screen on DM |
| “Cancel anytime after stake” | Cancel Trade is Created-only |
| “Support needs your seed” | /support needs Trade #ref + state — never seed |
Haveno-class dispute docs describe a different machine. Domestic Monero’s public copy is Telegram peer offers with trade shares — same broad 2-of-3 settlement idea as Haveno, different access path. Venue map: Monero venues 2026.
Terms in this article
| Term | Meaning (public) |
|---|---|
| Seller | Party who stakes XMR into the Multisig Trade Wallet |
| Request refund | Seller reclaim after Cancelled when stake remains |
| Cancel Trade | Early cancel on Created only |
| Trade share | Your settlement credential — keep offline |
| Trade #ref | Public reference for /support |
FAQ
Can I Cancel Trade after I already staked?
No. Cancel Trade is Created only. After stake, wait the stage; reclaim on Cancelled via Request refund.
Does Request refund need the buyer’s trade share?
No. You submit your own trade share at the matching chip.
Where is support?
Only /support on @domestic_monero_bot with Trade #ref.
Open the official Mini App
Open Trades, find the quiet trade by Trade #ref, and if the chip is Cancelled with stake left, tap Request refund with your trade share — that is the reclaim loop, not a panic DM.
Open the app